A few months ago I resigned from my job, from my career, that I had spent 21 years building, the job that I used to take pride in and was damn good at. The truth is, I had been miserable for years. Changes in the industry, in the way we operated, along with personal life scenarios, led me to feeling depressed, isolated and miserable. I physically hurt getting out of bed to go to work every day. It had become a chore, a misery and a massive hindrance in my happiness. For the last 6 years I was surrounded by politics and international doom and gloom. There was no reprieve, and there was nothing happy. Combined with personal grief and hard times, it really started to fuck with me, and I knew I had to get out. But making that jump was really hard when my wage had left me accustomed to a certain kind of lifestyle!
As a Studio & Outside Broadcast Director, the ABC was great for me for about the first 12 months. Everything was new and I had a lot to learn about politics (which I really don’t get into by the way!). I was finally earning a decent wage and I was able to pay off my debts and save some money. I could buy whatever I wanted whenever I wanted (within reason), take holidays, buy new toys and never be in debt. How wonderful! But once the novelty wore off I quickly got bored, and the content I was working with started to play games with my head. I would often direct a half hour news bulletin holding back tears because what I was putting to air was so horrible; I would often be heard frustratingly yelling at the TV, or the producer, or anyone around me, that surely in this entire world something happy happened that we can report on.
That’s not to say that it was all bad. I got to work with amazing people and I made some great friends in the last 6 years. The ABC was a good place to work and the support I was provided with when times were tough was incredible. I also got to work on some pretty special events like directing Anzac Day at the War Memorial which had my work broadcast world wide.
I took pride that in my 21 years in the professional work force I had never chucked a sicky; if I called in sick I was really sick….I called in sick one morning when I had a really bad headache…this for me was a big sign that I really needed to get out. Combined with some workplace stuff that had gone on and that was the last push I needed to grow some balls and pull the pin!
I was already in planning mode. I had spent over a year documenting my expenses, trying to figure out where all this money I was earning was going, and where I could chop and save. I knew that when I finally made the jump there would be a couple of months of no earnings, followed by an indeterminate number of weeks/months of low earnings so I needed to be prepared. Husband was extremely supportive and told me he would cover me. Of course I could not have done this without his unwavering love and support, but I’m a stubborn independent woman who likes to be self sufficient, so I wanted to be able to pay my own way and not have to ask for pocket money!
I cancelled subscriptions I didn’t need (and had forgotten I had!), changed phone plans, stopped buying 2 coffees a day! I was actually horrified by how much money I was spending on coffee!! I took a small plunger and coffee to work and made my own. I prepared my lunch and snacks so I didn’t have to buy food. It all made a big difference. I was able to save a substantial amount of money to feel comfortable walking out with.
The whole thing had actually started about 4 years earlier. There were two significant events in my life that started the chain reaction to this career change. One was when my specialist told me I had to go off my reflux medication that I had been heavily reliant on for 11 years. My stomach had started to have some adverse side effects from it and it was not safe for me to keep using it. I had to use my new medication symptomatically rather than preventatively and clean up my diet. I did mostly eat well but I also liked to indulge and the little pill that had been a vital part of my life had let me get away with eating almost anything. After I got over my initial panic attack I started researching and reading as much as I could. I cleaned up my diet and was relieved to see that it was working. After more than 11 years of suffering and constant pills I was med free and feeling great…because I ate clean! It made more difference to my life than I can ever explain, I lost 5 kilos without getting off the couch, I slept better, I had more energy and I was med free! So that got me thinking…I decided I wanted to help other people and make a difference in their lives. And that’s when the seed was planted! I signed up to a nutrition course, which took me way too long to complete. By the time that was done I was well and truly over the work I was doing, the shift work, the lack of notice of rosters and inability to plan or commit to anything and all the things I mentioned earlier. So as soon as I got back from Bali 2016, I signed up to do my Cert 4 in Fitness and the final stage was set in motion.
The other thing of significance was the grief I experienced after losing several people in one year back in 2013. I was affected in many ways which I won’t go into here, but the thing that lingered as a result was the thought ‘is what I’m doing right now how I want to spend my days?‘ And the answer was always a resounding NO!…NO I don’t want to listen to politics, NO I don’t want to put depressing news to air day after day, NO I don’t want to find out what shift I’m working the week before, NO I don’t want to be in a dark studio all day. NO I don’t want to be this person who whinges about work every day, NO, NO, NO…this is NOT how I want to spend my days!
At the start of 2017 I had made my decision…when we were to go to Europe in mid May would be the end of my time at the ABC. I considered coming back for a week or 2 to get some more money but quickly realised I really didn’t want to. I counted back to 4 weeks before and circled the day in my diary that was to be Resignation Day!!
Leading up to it was nuts. I was working up to 50 hour weeks setting up a new system for the news, starting early, finishing late sometimes, at the same time as doing my PT course and learning to swim for that triathlon I had committed to! Remember that one?! Before I knew it, it was resignation week and I felt sick!! I almost wussed out, but the night before I typed it up, printed it, signed it and put it in my bag. I had to wait until the afternoon to hand it in as my then manager was out all day. At 4pm I walked into his office and made the announcement! It was met with shock, questions and being asked to think about it over the weekend! I had been thinking about it for 4 years! A weekend was not going to change a thing!
4 weeks went quick, I was overwhelmingly scared, terrified actually! I was about to leave the comfort of all I knew and was good at for the discomfort of the great unknown, things I was still learning about, had no idea it would actually work or whether I’d be any good at it, and I couldn’t wait!
I got some nice farewell speeches…in many ways it was sad that I actually had no idea how much I was appreciated until I was leaving. Honestly. No idea. Because nobody ever said anything. It made me question my decision just for a moment. But the thought quickly disappeared!
So onto the next chapter! First was Europe. Motivated by a crazy French guy we know and love who was getting married! How could we resist a wedding invite to Normandy!? So off we went to French countryside heaven to spend a week with amazing people and put myself into a cheese and wine coma every night! Combined with some family time in Greece of course. Couldn’t go all the way to Europe and not go cuddle my favourite people!!
I managed to complete 3 assignments while I was travelling and by the time we got back I was very very close to completion. Within a week I was done and then waited for bits and pieces to be marked and receive my certificate. I had already been speaking to Club Lime who were keen for me to start so once everything was in, it was all systems go! The week before I started was insane. So much to take care of, prepare, sign up to, pay for! And then it was launch time! Terrified…doubtful…and so so so excited! After 4 years of build up, study, preparation both mental and financial, Intelligent Lifestyle was up and running! I just got teary writing that! What a whirlwind it’s been!
I am now 10 weeks in. I am flat out learning and growing as a business and as a person. I have 14 paying clients and it’s slowly building. I actually love going to work and it doesn’t feel like work! I would love to say that I jump out of bed but the early starts aren’t always easy especially when most nights have been below 0! But I love that I am making a difference in people’s lives. I am helping unfit people become fitter and healthier, I am helping fit people get fitter and stronger. I myself am the fittest and strongest I’ve ever been. So much so my trainer cannot understand how I rarely get sore when we work at 100% most sessions and lift weights to failure often. (For those who don’t know what that means, basically lifting weight until you physically can’t lift it anymore.)
The announcement that I was quitting my career as a TV Director (which I guess does sound a little fancy!) to become a Personal Trainer was received with mostly positive responses. I did get a couple of “really? of course you are!”, like WTF, but mostly I got support, and congratulations. Though these two careers are worlds apart, those who know me know they’re really not that far removed from me. I have spent the majority of my life as a dancer and choreographer. I have experience teaching, motivating and getting the best out of people. I have always been active, received years of Personal Training and participated in fun runs and yes, that crazy Triathlon! So becoming a personal trainer was not really that far from my life.
It’s a terrifying thing to do this in one’s 40th year! Some may go as far as to call it a mid-life crisis (though I insist I am far too young for that!!). I would call it mid-life wisdom! One thing I have learnt is that life is short and precious. I have lost too many people far too early and each time I attend a funeral I reflect on my own life and whether I am where I want to be. The older I get, the less I give a shit, the more I value my time, my friends and my life, and the more I want to do what makes me happy vs what people expect me to do and spend time with the people who make me happy. So, at 39 I was old enough to know better, but young enough to start again…so why the hell not start again? Why continue in a miserable situation just because I was comfortable? Why not go after the thing I want, the thing I am passionate about and the thing that will give me greater satisfaction? Failure is not an option, I am going to make it work because I have to, because I want to, and because I believe in it, and dare I say, I believe in myself! I have reinvented myself in the past, I can do it again!
Because when what you’re doing makes you hurt to get out of bed in the morning, you need to change the reason you’re getting out of bed for!
Till next time x
lifeis1adventure 